Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Crafting a wedding invitation card may seem simple at first especially when looking at it from afar. However, if you are not conversant with the rules involved in creating one, you are likely to flunk. Crafting the perfect words can be a bit tricky. Therefore, the first thing you should know is that whatever you are to put up in that invitation card should reflect what you want your wedding to be like. The card should bear the projected wedding vibes.

If you are not so sure how to construct your wedding invitation card, we have here a compiled guideline to help you through your state of confusion.

What should you include in your wedding invitation card?

Here are important things you should include in your invitation card.

1. Host line

This is usually the first line of the invitation card. Here, you will have to state who is hosting the wedding i.e. the wedding sponsor. Before now, this line is always left for the bride’s parents as a way of acknowledging them as the sponsors. However, this norm seems to have changed a lot these days as most couples now sponsor their weddings themselves. In this case, the entire line could be omitted.

There are also cases where parents of both bride and groom contribute financially thus, both parents’ names has to be included in this line.

There are other ways of going about it. Even if you don’t want to include names, you can use simpler lines like, “together with their families” or “with support from their families”.

Even though we could provide you with tips on how to structure your words for the host line, the most important thing you should know is that this line is best crafted when you choose the words that you and your spouse are both comfortable with.

• Putting “and” in between two names here simply indicates that the mentioned individuals are married.
• Divorced parents can still be included. However, their names should be written on separate lines.
• The name of stepparents should be included on the same line.
• If the hosts are not married, they should not be included on the same line.
• This is not the case of ‘who provides more financial support’. Thus, you should avoid listing names in the order of who paid more or who spent more.
• The name of a deceased parent can be added but this time using a different format as someone who is long gone cannot turn out to be the host for your wedding. You can go this way, “Nicole Brian, daughter of Grace Brian”. Another way you can write it is, “Nicole Brian daughter of Martin Brian and the late Grace Brian”.

2. Request line

Now, this is where you do the invitation properly: that part where you tell people to grace your wedding with their presence. You should remember the right tone here. You would have to determine if you are going formal or casual in your wedding before you write this part.

If it is going to be a formal wedding, then a formal tone it should be. For instance, a line like this could go, “….request the honour of your presence…” However, if it is a less formal wedding, you could go this way, “…want you to come join our party…” or “would love for you to come celebrate with us..”

Here are some things you should take note of:

• “The honor of your presence” is usually used for a religious service. You could also spell the ‘honor’ with a ‘u’ as in, ‘honour’. Both spellings are correct and don’t really matter. However, if you are going with the ‘honour’ spelling which is the British spelling, you should use it in conjunction with the spelling, ‘favour’ when you will be writing ‘in favour of your reply’ on the RSVP card.
• If you are going with lines such as “Request the pleasure of your company”, you should know it typically denotes a non-religious ceremony.

3. Action line

You state here exactly what you are inviting the people to come and share in or partake in. Here are few examples of formats you can use for this.

• If you are using both parents as host, you could write, “At the marriage of their children”.
• If it is a traditional case where the bride’s parents are the host, the line could be written as, “At the marriage of their daughter”.
• Now, if you are the ones hosting the event by yourselves, you could simply go, “As they tie the knot”. “At the celebration of their union”, is another line you could use.

4. Couple’s names

Okay, you may say this is easy; it is probably just to add your name and that of your significant other. But, do you know whose name should go first? Have you paused to think if you will have to add middle names or last names? While there might not seem to be a right or wrong way of going about this, here are simple tips for you:

• For couples of different gender, it is typical for the bride’s name to go first followed by the groom’s name. If the names of the bride’s parents are already stated above, then there is no need of adding the bride’s last name here. You should just include her middle and last name.

In the case of the groom’s name, it is either listed in full or left with just the first and middle names. If you go with the latter option, then a line like, “the son of Mr and Mrs Anthony Mark should accompany the name.

• If the couple are of the same sex, then you might just write the names in alphabetical order either starting from the last name or first name (as you choose).
• Going with first names only gives the invitation a more casual look.

5. Date and time

The traditional way is to write out the date and time in full. For instance, it could read, “Saturday, the nineteenth of November, two thousand and twenty, at half past two in the afternoon.

However, we are now in the modern era, most people don’t stress themselves anymore with that format. They just list the date and time in numerals even though it depicts more of informal wedding.

6. Location

This is how you go about this:

• The name of the venue should be on one line (preferably), followed by the second line that should read “City, State”.
• Unless, it is a private residence, it may not be necessary to include the street address.
• Zip codes are not needed here.

7. Reception line

Now, this is the line that gets the attention of most people. They would want to get a clue of what the party that follows the exchange of the marital vows would look like. If yours is going to be a high key celebration, you don’t kill the vibe here. See tips for you:

• If reception is going to be the same venue where you will exchange the marital vows, then it should read something like, “Dinner and dancer to follow suit” or “Reception to follow immediately”.
• If the reception would hold at a different venue, then the venue should be added in the following line or simply attach a card bearing the address of the venue (a reception card) to invite the guests you wish to be present at the reception.
• If you don’t plan on giving a full meal service, you can give your guest hints by adding lines like “Join us afterwards for hors d’oeuvre, cocktails and dancing” or “Punch, Cake and merriment afterwards”.
• There are more creative lines you can use here but whichever you are opting for, it should be one that sets the tone for the reception. Check out something like this, “Please join us for an intimate dinner afterwards” or “Drinks, Dancing! Dancing! Dancing! to follow”.

Additional ideas

You might want to consider including the following:

• The dress code for the day

Before now, dress code for weddings wasn’t much of a thing but recently people attach much more importance and attention to it. If you have a preferred dress code (such as black tie), you might want to add the details in the invitation card.

This is not compulsory because even if you don’t include details, guests are likely to deduce the right attire to wear from the tone of the invitation (whether formal or informal). The dress code is usually listed on the line following that of the location.

• Wedding website and RSVP details

It is not quite typical to put out these information in the invitation card. It is usually listed in another card that accompanies the invitation card (usually the rsvp card / information card). But, the norm seems to be changed and it is common to see people put their RSVP details on their invitation card.

 Now you have everything you need to know about the English wedding invitation etiquette. Congratulations! I'm sure you can draft a perfect wedding invitation card for yourself now.

Find out more about Chinese Version Wedding Invitation Etiquette HERE.